HER BABY'S SECRET FATHER Read online

  “Good morning,” she said, looking shy and squeaky-clean.

  “Good morning.” He squeezed her arm on his way to the percolator, unable to decide which smelled better—Jaynie or the coffee. He liked how the natural-as-living greeting felt. He’d have liked it even more if they’d shared the same bed last night.

  “Don’t you have to go to work?”

  She broke into his thoughts while he poured himself a cup. “I worked the weekend and I’ve got today off.”

  He took a long satisfying sip, made the requisite “ahh” sound, and grinned. “Don’t even think about getting rid of me. I’m sticking around. You need me.”

  In place of the protest he expected, a smile broke across her face. But she recovered quickly, leaned against the counter, crossed her arms and watched him, attempting to look stern with giveaway eyes.

  Terrance fought the urge to fold her into an embrace, bury his nose in her jasmine-scented hair and kiss her neck until she ripped off his clothes. Instead, he made a nervy, lopsided smirk, daring her to resist him.

  “Well,” she said. “In that case, the least I can do is make you breakfast.”

  *

  Jaynie had offered her bathroom so Terrance could take a quick shower after they ate. Later, they both found themselves standing before the same sink with Tara’s plastic bathtub, filling it with warm water. She pondered his intense interest in her child’s care. What was that all about?

  “Let me do it,” he said, and he moved closer to the vanity. His big hand held over half of Tara’s entire body. The infant squirmed and drew her tiny legs up tight to her pink tummy, and then widened her eyes and pushed the tip of her minuscule tongue to her lips in surprise. One little peep escaped her mouth when he submerged the lower part of her body into the water. After tensing, her scrawny legs relaxed, until she cooed and gurgled.

  Tara liked her bath.

  Jaynie laughed at the look of clear amazement in Terrance’s eyes. “See—it’s fun.” She giggled. “I told you.”

  The smile he gave almost knocked her flip-flops off her feet. And, oh, what a fine profile the man had when he turned back to finish his assigned job of bathing a four-pound infant. Jaynie had never imagined the smell of baby lotion and natural male could be such an aphrodisiac.

  She was puzzled. Either he was a natural at bathing a baby, or he’d done it before. Why did he want to help her? And, more importantly, why did she trust him so much? He’d been a godsend last night, and she’d never forget how he’d come to her rescue. But why choose to stick around today?

  After the bath, she helped Terrance swathe Tara in a towel and gently dried the beginnings of the fine, red-tinged hair on her head. Tara griped and squirmed.

  Jaynie and Terrance looked at each other and gave happy-face smiles over the wonder of it all. And something more, something intense, even urgent, passed between them.

  “So, you want to tell me what happened over the weekend?” he asked, while putting a new diaper on Tara like a pro.

  Jaynie sighed and leaned against the counter. “I felt completely overwhelmed—all the equipment, and Tara’s treatments, not to mention nursing her every two hours—I never got to sleep.” She closed her eyes and tried to block the horrible feeling of failure from her mind. “It just all caught up with me.”

  “Why didn’t you ask for help?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Stubborn. Foolish, I guess. Shouldn’t I be able to handle all of this myself?”

  “Nope.” Terrance attempted to wrap Tara in a light blanket.

  Jaynie stepped in and demonstrated the swaddling technique.

  “I can’t thank you enough.” She touched his arm and reacted in her gut. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come.”

  He held Tara like a football in the bend of his arm. “You’d have pulled yourself together and called someone. That much I know.”

  He had faith in her.

  His eyes wandered to her face, and she flushed warm when she saw the same look he’d given her the other day, just after their kiss.

  “Whew, it’s steamy in here.” She tore away from his intense gaze and opened the bathroom door, breaking the moment and escaping his sensual spell.

  Over the next several hours they diapered, fed, medicated and spent an inordinate amount of time just watching Tara. Any and every little thing she did tickled them. Her belches were hysterical, and the look she gave just before pooping had them in stitches. The zapped look of contentment on her face after nursing made them both coo. And when she gurgled? Well, what could they do but beam with pride?

  Terrance made sure Jaynie napped regularly and ate properly throughout the day. He also swept the floors, did her laundry, straightened up the house and ran to the market for groceries. At nine o’clock that night, he escorted Jaynie to bed, made her promise she’d call him if she had any problems, and assured her he’d be back the next day, after work.

  She plopped into bed, with Tara nearby in the attached bedside crib, and securely connected her to the apnea monitor. The wonderful day had come to an end. And the icing on the cake had been a tender goodnight kiss from her new hero—Terrance. It might have seemed casual to him—his leaning down and gently pressing his lips to her forehead—but to Jaynie it had felt like the kiss of a prince.

  A prince who had tiptoed out of the room and shut the door.

  The last thought on Jaynie’s mind before she drifted off to sleep was how wonderful it was to have someone…

  *

  Tuesday morning, Terrance had just finished making work assignments when his beeper went off. He recognized the number as the emergency room. Knowing they’d have whatever equipment he’d need, he rushed to the stairwell, avoiding the notoriously slow hospital elevators, navigating his way to the ER.

  He punched in the code numbers to enter the locked ward and swept through the doors toward the nurses’ station. Through the overcrowded bustle and noise, the charge nurse alerted him to the incoming ambulance and its estimated time of arrival.

  “SIDS,” she said casually, as if it happened every day of the week.

  Terrance’s heart stopped. What if it was Tara? All reason about the statistical odds of it actually being his daughter left his head. His normally steady-as-steel hands trembled like leaves on a windy day. He shook his head to help re-focus his vision.

  How would he be of any use to the code team, falling apart like this?

  “Are you okay?” The charge nurse had picked up on the fact that all the blood had drained from his face.

  He couldn’t bring himself to answer and fumbled for a chair to sit down. She approached him, waving something she’d pulled from her pocket.

  The potent ammonia ampule she’d popped open under his nose burned his lungs, forced his attention, and started him breathing again. He swatted her hand away.

  “Just tell me where the baby is coming from, how old it is and is it anyone we know?”

  “The paramedics said it’s a two-month-old boy. And he’s not dead, but he’s gone into cardiac arrest.”

  The emotional whirlwind blew out of his mind. Relieved beyond belief, Terrance gathered his composure, quit thinking like a father and started thinking like an unflappable respiratory therapist.

  He prepared for a battle of life and death, determined along with the rest of the code team to make sure the baby boy had a fighting chance to see his first birthday.

  And once he’d made sure the child was stable, first chance he got, he’d call Jaynie and ask how Tara was doing today.

  *

  The last ten days had passed beautifully with Terrance’s help. Jaynie mused what a blessing he’d been on the way home from her six-week post-partum checkup. She had trusted him to babysit while she went, and there were no messages on her cellphone, which was a good sign.

  Pulling her car into the driveway, she was delightfully surprised to see Terrance looking huge, and Tara microscopic, on the front porch. He waved at her with a broad smile.
All was well.

  She parked and he greeted her on the steps with a kiss on the cheek. Jaynie was in love with him. She couldn’t deny it. But she’d keep her secret for now, and most likely for always. By the dreamy look on his face, she guessed he might have feelings for her, too. She knew what she wished for—now, if she could only read his mind…

  “So, how’d it go?” he asked, handing a squirming Tara to her.

  “The good news is I’m doing great,” she said, reaching for her baby and making little cooing sounds of comfort and clicks of her tongue. She looked up and grew serious. “The bad news is that means I’ve got to go back to work in a week.”

  “Do you feel ready for that?” He raised a brow.

  “I’m not sure.” She patted Tara’s back.

  “What about Peanut?”

  “I’ve made arrangements with one of the retired NICU nurses to watch her while I work, and then my mom will be here for a couple of weeks.”

  Terrance looked as if he wanted to ask more, but refrained. He opened the door and followed her inside.

  “Oh, yeah. She’s ready to eat,” he said.

  Jaynie gave a salute. “Reporting for duty, sir.” She smiled and gurgled at Tara, and carried her into the nursery to feed and put her down, then closed the door.

  Tara liked a long nap in the afternoons, and Jaynie looked forward to some time alone with Terrance. They had grown closer over the last month. Closer than she’d ever been with her ex-boyfriend over the five years they were together—which was rather amazing, considering she had wanted to marry that jerk. And definitely closer than when she and Terrance had dated last year. What had brought about this change? Was it Tara?

  She intended to explore her perplexing feelings for Terrance more, but not right now. Her mind was on something else—something big and gorgeous to look at.

  Terrance had been evasive whenever she’d brought up his medical school interviews. “Things went great,” he’d say, or, “I’ll see whether they accept me or not and go from there.” But he’d never go into particulars.

  Astounded by the depth of her newfound love for Terrance, Jaynie feared the day he would quit Mercy Hospital and march off to another university across the country, leaving her and Tara with a huge gap to fill.

  For the first time in her life she wanted to risk it all—give her soul, have her heart ripped from her chest or spend the rest of her life alone—for even one moment of paradise with Terrance. No book could tell her how to go about it; she’d have to write this one herself.

  So, after her thorough checkup, and at her own request, Dr. Marks had fit Jaynie for a diaphragm. And now, this very afternoon, she had high hopes of getting to use it. After all he’d done for her, Terrance had some serious “thank-you” sex due him. Not that he’d think of it that way. But she was looking for an excuse—any excuse—to make love to him. Her fantasy mission was to spend the afternoon close to him, in his arms.

  Under Terrance’s tender loving care and feeding, she felt like a new woman. So, after putting Tara to nap, filled with determination, energy and lust for life—lust for Terrance, anyway—Jaynie closed the nursery door and sauntered into the living room.

  He sat in the rocking chair, looking like Adonis, reading the paper. Sunlight shimmered through the shoulder-length hair that framed his face. Her mouth went dry.

  “I’m going to get something to drink,” she said. “Would you like anything?”

  “Sure. Water.” He smiled appreciatively.

  Her legs felt like water. She needed to regroup, gather more confidence. Positive that she hadn’t been misreading the multitude of signals he’d given her, she filled one glass, took a few swallows, filled another and headed back to the living room, all the while doing battle with her nerves. Why hadn’t she thought to read a book about seducing the man of your dreams?

  She brought the water and handed it to him, then circled behind the chair and placed her hands on his wide shoulders. She began to gently massage with warm, vigorous strokes. She admired his strength. He groaned and put down the water. His head fell forward in apparent bliss for a few moments before he straightened.

  “Come here,” he said, and reached behind for Jaynie’s hand. “Sit on my lap.”

  Taking a subtle deep breath, she complied, sitting sideways across his thighs. He gazed at her and smiled—there was that look again—and a flock of butterflies flew into her chest.

  Go for it.

  She put her arms around his neck and nuzzled his cheek. Fine stubble tickled her, awakening nerve-endings she hadn’t even known she had. Could the jaw be an erogenous zone?

  His large, warm hand caressed her face and she felt his heart thump in his chest. Terrance turned his head and kissed her, long and hard, building their passion slowly. He pulled back just enough to speak.

  “I think that red-hot Feng Shui wall is working wonders on the energy in this room.”

  She broke away and gazed into his eyes. “You may be right. But I don’t want to think about anything right now.” Her body softened, melting onto his, while their mouths greeted each other again. He probed with his tongue, playful and adventurous, steadily building, firmer and stronger, until the kiss became urgent, desperate. His hands moved over her back, rubbing, kneading and drawing her tight to his body.

  On a whim, and fueled by their kiss, she shifted her position, swinging her leg over his lap, facing him full-on. She took his face into her hands and kissed him the way she’d dreamed about over the past week. He moaned and gave himself to her, boosting her confidence. She felt his response under her thigh and grew even braver, pressing into it in a full straddle. A surge of sensation coursed through her core and a new boldness emerged. She’d take control and run with it.

  His hands shot to the small of her back and pulled her forward. He pressed her firmly against his arousal, pleasuring and taunting them both.

  She moaned. “More. I want more.”

  He groaned.

  Jaynie broke from his kiss and dropped her head back. Following her hint, he kissed her neck, licking the skin, drawing it into his mouth. She purred and subtly rocked back and forth with their hips locked in place. It felt too good. Heavenly was more like it.

  “You’re driving me crazy.” His voice brought her back from wicked, wonderful mindlessness.

  Seeing dazed desire in his eyes, she silently got up and with a trembling hand took his, then led him down the hall…into her room.

  *

  The bed called out—large, cool and empty.

  Terrance had an impulse to grab Jaynie and throw her onto the mattress and ravish her. Instead, practicing self-restraint, he fumbled and unbuttoned her blouse, all the while frantically feathering kisses lightly across her neck and chest. God, he loved how she responded with shivers. The last button was stubborn, and he popped it open like a snap—hoped she didn’t mind. By the intense look on her face, she didn’t seem to. His excitement grew when he unveiled her lace bra and the lovely flesh hiding just beneath. His fingers explored the bra in total concentration and awe, then boldly removed it.

  “So beautiful,” he said.

  Her breath caught when he leaned forward and kissed her breasts, gently cupping each one before pressing firmly, memorizing the feel. His thumb lightly swept each nipple until it pebbled. He pulled his head back, to better admire her, and loved what he saw.

  Anxious to be skin to skin, he didn’t bother to unbutton his shirt, but ripped it open, sending buttons flying around the room. He laughed as he stripped it off, and she did, too. It helped him relax and calm down the tiniest bit.

  Aching with desire, he clutched her bare back, holding her tight, caressing the heat of her skin in his palms, amazed by her silky, soft feel.

  They finished undressing each other in a frenzied fashion, unzipping, tugging, removing the final barriers. Finally naked, they embraced.

  *

  The thrill was more than Jaynie could bear. Discovering a glorious new joy of touch, sh
e closed her eyes and, with eager hands, savored every centimeter of skin, muscle and sinew on his body.

  He lowered himself onto the bed and reached for her. She crawled on top, sharing her breasts, hips and stomach with his flesh. Heat flashed up her body, flaming her desire. His breathing grew rough when he enfolded her in his arms. Inhaling his scent, she kissed him, tasted him, loved him.

  He rolled her onto her back, kissing her neck and jaw, cupping her breast and nuzzling her hair with his nose.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said, then sat up and praised her with his eyes.

  He gave her the distinct impression that at that moment in time she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Jaynie basked in his attention.

  He took her peaked breast into his mouth, and a feeling completely different from her motherly role roiled through her. She arched her back and bit her lip to keep from calling out. His hand wandered across her belly and between her legs. She relaxed for him and he gently opened her, stirring new sensations. Seeming intent on giving her pleasure before taking his own, he continued with the gentle massage. She grew weak and tense at the same time. All the while he watched her, and she tried to look back, but could only concentrate on his intimate touch—until she couldn’t take any more. A deep wave of release crested and rolled over her, reaching every cell in her body. When she recovered, she wanted only one thing.

  “I need you,” she said.

  His hot hazel eyes blazed with anticipation, and then regret. “I don’t have a condom.”

  Jaynie smiled wisely. “I stopped at the pharmacy on my way home today.”

  He gave a wicked grin and raised an eyebrow. “You did?” The fire in his eyes made her face flare with heat. “Great.”

  He latched onto her other breast with renewed vigor, taking it into his mouth, once again driving her mad.